When You Are The Michelle Williams of The Crew....
I like fashion and I like to dress up and slay and take photos and what not, but I have to talk about things that are on my mind sometimes. Is that cool?
I have to talk about love and life. I have to talk about how there was a time when self-love only meant making other people love you. Oddly, making people love me, meant I needed to appear like the type of person that people love. So here it goes.
Probably right up to the point I left for college, the fact that I was one of the few talk skinny girls was a huge problem to me. The fact that I had bigger feet was a big problem. I also wore glasses....needless to say, I was the typical awkward girl, kind of like the one you see on tv. So long story short, what did I do...I became the Michelle Williams of every group of friends I had. I tried to wear the same clothes, do my hair the same, walk and talk the same....but you know how we all feel about Michelle. "She's pretty but she just can't get it right". She never did until stood alone.
Michelle had to find her own strengths and then give that to the world. Michelle had to figure out her own style, even if she was the only person who looked good wearing what she was wearing. Michelle had to learn to love herself, because no one was going to love her for trying be like Beyonce and Kelly.
I realized that I wasted a lot of money, and time, trying to buy the same clothes/accessories/sneakers that my friends had just to eventually throw them out because they did not look good on me. These days, I know that what works for me just will not work for everyone and I'm okay with that. In fact, I love that because only I can be me. I am who I am. So I wear what I want to wear, do what I want, and get what I want, because only what's meant for me will be.
Leaving the environment that made me feel like I wasn't not good enough to be loved, you know... like the way that Beyonce is loved, was probably the best decision I made. I learned the power of this when I left for college. The appearances that people see are not the reasons that people love you and shouldn't be why you love them. There was no good reason to want to be like someone or to want what anyone had because it does not equate to love.
That is the gist of my spiel. But one thing I have to remind myself even today. When I feel like I want the the love that Beyonce gets, #goals and what not, that's when I need to love myself better. Just love who I am and what I already have. Just love myself.
Drop a line if you can relate.
-typical awkward girl.